"Computer! Earl Grey, hot." Twenty years ago, Star Trek seemed futuristic by having computers perform tasks in every aspect of daily life. Today, it seems we're not so far off from a Star Trek world. The technology to talk to computers already exists, but wouldn't it be grand if they could make a decent cup of tea?

For the layperson, it is perplexing trying to keep track of the jargon and components associated with computers. All you want is a simple PC, so where do you go? Three types of businesses can sell you a PC online - manufacturers, retailers and consultants. Manufacturers such as http://www.ipc.com/ and http://www.dell.com/ allow you to price various options and configure your own computer system. Other manufacturers, such as http://www.compaq.com/, offer their own line of pre-designed systems. Retailers like Computers Canada, Compusmart, Future Shop, Micro Warehouse and Onvia have an inventory of various brand-name products, and can sell you an entire system. Consultants such as 10 Cents will help you select and buy your computer, install it, and teach you how to get the most out of it. Some of the better-known brands of PC include IBM, Compaq, Dell, Acer and Hewlett Packard, and then, of course, there's always Apple Computers.

Buying a PC?

When buying a PC online, Brian Wilson, Web sales manager at Computers Plus Online, has this advice to offer: "You want to make sure you have a company that's not gone tomorrow. Look for warranty and product support. For instance, are they going to charge you shipping when you send parts back? With buying computers online, you need someone who really knows what they're doing."

Performance, reliability and service are some of the key criteria when first looking for a computer. And you don't need to over-buy on performance. Gary Patterson, executive vice-president and chief financial officer at the Future Shop says, "You need to do some research and be up front as to what you need and why you need it. People tend to go with what a friend recommends, without considering their own requirements, and often end up with a system suited to someone else's needs."

A computer is like a car in that as soon as you get it off the lot, it loses value quickly. There is always going to be something faster with more memory coming off the line in a day or two. For small office and personal use, don't even try to keep up. And unless you are a heavy graphics user, or a gamer that needs the latest and fastest, don't get talked into the top of the line. Save the extra money for a good service package.

Process this information

The basic PC unit should include the tower, keyboard, monitor and the mouse. The "thinking" part of the computer is housed in the tower, and this includes the processor, the hard drive, a floppy disk drive, and usually a CD-ROM or DVD and a modem. It should also include a sound card and a video card, which are used for sound and graphics. Be sure when comparison shopping to compare apples to apples, as these parts can vary widely in performance, power and speed. And always look out for the words "monitor not included."

The processor is your computer's way of processing information, and it determines the speed and efficiency with which the computer performs applications. For example, a Pentium II is more than adequate for word-processing and home use. However, if you plan to use graphics-heavy programs such as AutoCAD and PageMaker, you might want to consider a faster processor.

Processing speeds range from an entry-level 233 megahertz Pentium up to a 1 gigahertz model. Intel is the best-known manufacturer of processors, however Cyrix and AMD make compatible products that are just as good. Apple has developed its own processors that are not compatible with other PCs. The fastest processor, the Power Mac G4 line, is now clocking in at 500 megahertz.

How hard can it be?

Hard disk space is crucial with today's software packages, which require a lot of memory, and the increasing use of computers for playing videos, music and even television. New systems generally come with a minimum of 4 gigabytes, but the rule here is the more the merrier, especially since hard drives are quite inexpensive. More hard disk space means you can have an excellent library of music and photo files on your computer.

Memory like an elephant

Your computer needs memory to load programs and allow you to multitask. Random access memory (RAM) refers to the amount of temporary space the computer needs while loading and running programs. The more RAM a computer has, the quicker it loads programs and the better it handles the performance of various functions simultaneously. The minimum required to run Windows 98 is 32 MB (megabytes) of RAM, and 64 MB is recommended for Windows 2000.

Don't forget the keys

Keyboards are pretty standard. You can get keyboards with ergonomic shapes or with specialized functions. Aside from compatibility with the entire system, choose a keyboard that makes your hands feel comfortable as your fingers rest on the keys.

Many of us overlook service and warranty. Computers can be fickle and finicky, and many computer manufacturers offer excellent service and warranty programs at reasonable prices. Take advantage of these services, especially if you rely on your computer for business.

Glossary

CPU (central processing unit) is the computer's "brain," and its processing speed is measured in megahertz. However, there are other parts of the computer that can make for a significant speed difference between 2 different computers with the same processor.

Gigs and megs are what you should call gigabytes and megabytes so that computer salespeople will respect you.

RAM (random access memory) is the amount of temporary space a computer has to load active programs.

Quirks

It can be a dangerous game to let computers do all of our thinking for us. To keep your brain sharp for the day when computers try to take over (rent The Terminator or The Matrix for the sci-fi take on how this can happen), visit http://www.bored.com/ for some brainteasers.