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 LOVE AND MONEY |
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Do you
believe that Money = Love?
To find out if you are among the
many who believe in the myth that money equals love, answer the following
questions:
When you feel lonely or depressed, do you buy yourself
something to cheer yourself up?
Do you tend to buy yourself something as a way of celebrating or
rewarding yourself for a job well done?
Do you tend to shop impulsively or compulsively?
Do you buy things for yourself or others regardless of whether you
have enough money to pay for these purchases?
When you feel deprived or unloved, does buying yourself something seem
like the first recourse?
If you answered yes to three or more of
these questions, then money equals love for you, at least to some extent.
Debunking Money = Love
If you subscribe to this
myth in your actions and attitudes, you may need to spend some time
thinking about people you know personally who:
Don't have a lot of money but have a lot of love in their life.
Have a lot of money but seem starved for love.
The next step in debunking this myth is to practice new ways of nurturing
yourself that don't cost much money (or perhaps cost no money at all).
If you tend to reward yourself by shopping (impulsively or compulsively),
think of alternate activities that would serve the same purpose. For
example, you might take a hot bath or have a long talk with your best
friend. You could attend a religious service, listen to music, read
a book, meditate, or go to a museum. The possibilities are endless!
If you feel that the urge to shop comes over you like a tidal wave,
and that you can't say no to it, you may well have a spending addiction.
There's no need to be ashamed about this problem. You are far from alone.
Its source is usually a combination of early childhood deprivation (on
an emotional, physical, or material level) as well as the social alienation
that comes from being in a culture where there is a lack of community,
a feeling of spiritual emptiness, and a craving to feel whole on some
level. The only problem with the solution of using money as a substitute
for love is that it doesn't work. It is like a Band-Aid on a festering
wound, providing temporary relief from the feelings of loneliness, pain,
or emptiness, but never actually healing the wound. In fact, these "quick
fixes" erode self-esteem over time and create a self-perpetuating downward
spiral that can often lead to more severe emotional as well as financial
crises.
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