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 SELF-WORTH |
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Money =
Self-Worth
The myth of money equals self-worth comes up for
many men and women when they're thinking about how much they're paid for
the work they do. As a self-employed psychotherapist, I used to say to
myself, "I'm trying to set a fee for my services, but how much am I
worth?" My therapist colleagues in private practice are often heard asking
themselves and one another the same question. Now it makes me cringe a
little to realize how quickly we all equated our self-worth with the
amount of money we charged for our work. Perhaps a more appropriate
question to ask, if you are self-employed, is one of the following:
"What's the going rate?" "What's a fair amount to charge?" "How much do I
need to make?" "How much feels right for me to charge?" or even "How much
can I tolerate charging without feeling guilty or having an anxiety
attack?"
Men are, of course, socialized in our culture to equate
self-worth with success in work; women historically tend to rate
themselves more according to success in intimate relationships. But as
increasing numbers of women have entered the workforce in higher-level
positions, they are becoming more and more susceptible to measuring their
self-worth by the amount of money they make. So this equation of money
with self-worth has become a serious problem for both sexes.
Do
you believe that Money = Self-Worth?
If you think that you
subscribe to this myth, ask yourself the following questions:
Do you feel a lot better about yourself when you're making more money?
Does the income of people close to you affect how much you respect
them?
Do you fear that people would look down on you if you underwent a
salary cut, for any reason?
Would being unemployed for a short period make you feel bad about
yourself?
Do you lose some respect for people if you find out that they are
making much less money than you thought they were?
If you answered
yes to three or more questions, then to some degree you believe that money
equals self-worth.
Debunking Money = Self-Worth
If
you believe that your self-worth is tied to money, you need to look for
examples that run counter to this powerful myth. Identify and describe, in
as much detail as possible, a few people you know personally, or have read
or heard about, who:
Don't have a lot of money but, in your opinion, have an abundance of
self-esteem.
Have a lot of money but seem to have very little
sense of self-worth.
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