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Learning about Cars
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I became the proud recipient of my driver's license. Although
I vaguely knew that there would be some great car-and-driver
learning experiences up ahead, I had no idea what to expect.
Needless to say, I was in for quite a few surprises. For the
benefit of other clueless drivers, I decided I should share
my tiny fountain of knowledge.
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Chapter One: Oil
Lesson One: (I learned this lesson while driving my
father's 1998 Ford) Standard cars stall when you remove your
foot from the clutch before turning them off and you are not
moving.
Lesson Two: In ALL cars, anytime they stall, little
lights come on. In this instance, the little CHECK ENGINE
light does not necessarily mean you have an engine problem,
nor does the OIL LIGHT mean you are low on oil.
Lesson Three: When checking for oil, one uses the dipstick.
Lesson Four: The dipstick IS NOT FOUND in the same
place where you add the oil. It's separate...
Lesson Five: Yes, it IS bad to add too much oil to
your car... this is why they invented the dipstick in the
first place...
Lesson Six: It is much harder to remove oil than to
add oil.
Chapter Two: Theft Protection
Lesson One: Many cars are equipped with a rather useless
form of theft protection.
Lesson Two: This theft protector is activated when
you turn the steering wheel while your car is not running.
Lesson Three: Sometimes, it is good to use force on
your car.
Lesson Four: The theft protector, which will not allow
you to turn your keys in the ignition in order to start your
car, can be deactivated by forcefully and rapidly turning
the steering wheel from side to side.
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